The Softening…

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Soften. He said to soften your heart.

That felt so right to me, that that was what I needed to hear, and to do. To let spirit in. To let love in. To let light in. To feel, again.

I realized after so many years, that I had built up bricks around my heart. Not just a brick wall, but a barracade. Not to let anyone or anything touch me, hurt me, make me feel. But yet it didn’t quite make sense to me. I do feel, but maybe not enough, or not much of the right stuff.

When I dance I feel, but now it seems not enough. I had overfelt.  Can there be such a thing? Well, apparently, for me, that was what I did, and I had/have given it all away. And forgot to save any for myself!

For years, I have always taught my students to dance forward from the heart, to move with intention, to feel it inside so it can come out. But somewhere on my journey, my much-needed protection turned into a personal barracade.

You go through loss, heartbreak, discouragement, change, and sometimes that heart starts to shut down. It just can’t take any more.

But you keep living, and living well. Enjoying many gifts of life. Doing work you love. Giving back. Creating. Yet it doesn’t reach all the way in. I had that ‘A-ha’ moment this weekend. Taking a workshop with Bradford Keeney this weekend, on energy medicine, and it was eye-opening for me, and soul-touching.

And softening. That was what I needed to hear, and to do…this is a great beginning to my “me month”! Taking time to take care of me, to study, to rest, to go deeper, to lighten, and to soften.

OK, how does one soften? This is my  journey now.

Comments, let me hear!

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