Downsizing the passion…
Turns out I can be a TV nerd. With my man out of town for a week I did some vegging in front of our new TV ( I have not had a TV for ten years, and it was time!). So we’ve both gone back to our early addictions of Law and Order, and the Food Channel, plus all those new home improvement shows and Counting Cars…AND just saying that movies are so much better on a bigger screen, than my little laptop!
But my time these past few dark and cold nights alone, was spent watching the fifth season of True Blood. Oh my, like 3 shows in a row!!! Eecckkk….and you know what, it was awesome. Super self-indulgent, guilt-free time, and fun to sit alone, eat popcorn, and watch these beautiful bodies (and lots of blood!). Oh, and my other addiction is murder mysteries by JA Jance… can’t get enough.
But one must return to household chores and my dance work sometime, as I prepare for lots happening in 2016…
We are getting closer to moving into the new small (much smaller) home that we are building, and I am STILL downsizing! My goodness, how does one accumulate so much? And I’m not a hoarder, or even a good shopper! But years of passion is what this is about. Passionate about many things…all piled up with so much goodness, but it is asking to be a new shape, a new explosion of sorts. So I find I am needing to recognize, review, revamp, let go, downsize, in just about every aspect of my life and my business…the ideas are brewing but there needs to be more space.
And how do you downsize your passion? Or do you?
One must do what one must do.
And when you downsize many aspects of your life, you take good hard look-sees at what you have, what you are doing, what you’ve done, what you love, and most importantly what to let go of.
And allow those older passions to give way to others–many or just one. The times they are a changin’. My age is a changin’. The heart is a changin. It needs more room. A different room. Hell, even a different color! I’m going for red…
To downsize that passion. To change it. In the eyes of the wild unknown. The angels know. I trust. And allow the words to flow when there is not an endsight. Do you know how that feels?
What a thrill, the journey. The steps taken were grand. And the new steps, barefoot, digging into the soil of fertility, sometimes warm and soothing, sometimes cold and tip-toey. Whoa…
The newness creeps in, often too slowly, with my impatience banging, not rapping lightly, at my door. There is trepidation in the walk, the shimmy, with the undulation of birth. To take that fence that got built around the heart, the mortar of bricks away and let me build this newer version, different, beautiful, and to do so compassionately. No need for that barrier wall.
She says, You will be loved. No matter. Your desires abound. And they are small, more intimate, more prolific, more intense, personal, screaming to be heard, seen, lived.
I want to live them. Let go of what I have done to open up for the gloriously flying movements that scream to make my body pulse, with so much fun and gratitude and wings that alight my soul. And make sure to take the time to let the words pour forth, in the dark and quiet morning.
Ease, with ease, easy, with love, enough to share. I walk the treadmill of patience, wanting to run, full of creativity with questions, looking for ways, to open me up, to open you up, to give to you, this thrill. It will come.
Paul Jarvis says this:
Creative drive is like a virus. It takes hold slowly at first, and sometimes you don’t even realize you’ve got it or where it came from (probably via public transit…). In time you start to see the signs and symptoms. But by then it’s too late: you’re driven to create. You daydream about making things larger than yourself and feel wholly unsatisfied unless you’re being challenged with new and scary ideas.
So I search, as I sort through boxes, releasing memories, and continue on to let it run through me, let my body move with the rhythm, that music that always moves me, trusting, like I have for so many decades now. Allow source to flow, for my path to continue to unfold, and give way to my impatience. With so much love and fluidity, remaining open, carrying on with the solidness of the past, the solidarity of the tribe, the foundation that was built will never be broken, the widespread joy and celebration, continuing to add rooms in my downsizing (!), with pleasure and that creative drive! And aren’t you just a wee bit curious?
And the downsizing continues, crate by crate, costume by costume, CD by CD, paper by paper, willing and able to let go of all the ties the hold me down, and all the stuff that clutters my mind and my home. Able to pass on with love to whomever receives it next. Or discarding the unnecessary. It is glorious in its unfolding. My heart is working its way open. The lightness returns with the spark of the new, in the building process, of so many things.
And I may just finish up the rest of that entire season in one sitting!
Meanwhile, may your have a most amazing Thanksgiving holiday, remembering the gratitude that comes with, at this beautiful time of the year…
Mark your calendar!
Apr 22-24th, 2016…Paulette Rees-Denis presents
23nd Annual Women’s Dance and Desire Weekend
Dance and Desire: From the Body to the Page
at Breitenbush Hot Springs, in Detroit, Oregon
Dance. Words. Desire. Write. Honor. Celebrate. Pleasure. Feel good. Feel you. Move.